Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize