i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
