tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Fuck appropriateness.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
