He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
