would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
