I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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