We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize