so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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