Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
