Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
