Pappa wants mamma naked
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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