we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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