That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize