We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How does it feel to date your dad?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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