Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
