ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I smell like Dick and happiness
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
