is wine microwaveable?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My life is pants optional.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
