so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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