i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If I die, sorry about rent.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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