Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
