FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
