Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize