saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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