By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
