Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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