Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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