names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
