am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
