How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
