im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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