i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize