With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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