i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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