Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
