i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
