I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
