Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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