I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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