can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
we're so committed to being not committed
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
