APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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