My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
