my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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