I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
