she was so not down for the gang bang
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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