TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I have aggressive nipples.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
