I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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