i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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