Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
