I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
