these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
