Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize