It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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