Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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