All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
