I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
