someone threw a dead crab at me
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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