I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
