I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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