The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
we're chasing vodka with high fives
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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