Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
