I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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