she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
