i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
that is very illegal...i love you.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
