Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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