i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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