Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
