She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
