i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
