making cat noises will not fix the situation.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
